Wednesdays Weighty Issues

Ok I am going to try to do this weekly........every Wednesday. I thought of making a new blog for this. I am even part of another weight loss blog, (which I will go to after this post) but why make a new blog about my weight issues, why not just use this one, and update once a week. Hopefully this will help me out. IF my day changes, I will just edit this particular post. Quick rundown.........I was always a thin person.....(haven't ya heard/spoke those words before.) Anyway I was.......I was around 125 or so before getting pregnant with AJ. 6 months into my pregnancy I was still about 130 or so.......really sick the whole time, but luckily I was put on a very strong medicine that helped me to keep food down. In the hospital before he was born, 190!! yep big difference. but after he was born, 3 days later, I weighed in at the hospital and was 154.....another huge difference. 2 weeks later? I was in size 8......didn't weigh myself, but I think it had been about 140 or so...........anyway, shortly after that, about a month.......gained 60 pounds!!! I was not eating much, and was NOT sitting on my butt like the nurse told me to stop doing........it just kept gaining on me faster and faster. How embarrassing and sad is it when your friends look at you in horror, asking you what on earth happened!!! I found out it was the Depro-vera shot........after 3 of them I stopped, and that was years ago...my excuse now? I am not lazy........but I don't get much exercise.........I have a gym membership, but barely use it. My excuse is simple.......it is me!! Though sometimes, online fitness classes at  accreditedonlineschools.org seem a better option than going to the gym. 

My daily food intake today has made me want to cry.........870 calories in that meal......

Spicy chicken sandwhich
Medium Fries

NOT couting the drink since I have only taken a few drinks, threw the rest out. I always do this, eat something unhealthy THEN get upset about it and tell myself I can't do that again......or so often..........I can say that I am proud of myself for NOT snacking at night the past 4 days. Anyway I won't say what my weight is, not ready to go there........but when I see a full body picture of me, or my reflection in the mirror? I want to cry..........I want to hide..........but I can't hide, and crying only makes me feel worse!! I always say I will start Monday, to eat better and exercise........why always Monday in my mind? Monday comes and nothing changes, and then it's Monday again..........well NOT ANYMORE.......TODAY!! Nothing is different........I just don't want to feel this way.......and NO ONE can change that for me. ONLY ME! LOL

Ok off my fat pedestal for now until next Wednesday........I might have a Sunday Sins entry, to update any "miss steps"

*Edit* Made appointments with a trainer at the gym for both AJ and I. We go next week.

Is it Fall yet?

Ok well not yet, but I can hope. It did feel like it today though, it rained this morning, and the wind blew all day, but it was sooo nice and cool outside. My little Aiden is now "Officially" a pre-K student......this was taken today right before heading out the door to school. In my van!! yes you read that right, my van........It is finally fixed, but I don't want to over due my excitement, seeing as how we have gone through the "it's fixed" stage before and it lasted not even 24 hours. We did get home from dropping Aiden off at school, got gas, came home, I turned it off and then back on again, and it would not start, it would try, but not stay running.......BUT......my dad looked at it and my air filter cover was off, only being held on with one bolt, other side was cracked and two bolts were missing. Fixed that and it started right up.

Aiden had a super fun day at school he said.....his teacher said he is very polite and is adjusting really well. I hope that as time goes on, and he gets to know her, and makes friends, that he will not "act" up......he usually doesn't, but you know how kids are when they get to know someone.

I am working on crochet swap stuff.........none are due until the end of next month, but I want to get them out early. I really need to get busy with my own stuff........I have another design to work on.......one is Christmas related and not a square! LOL......the other is amigurumi related and actually Halloween. I started on it, but it is proving to be one of those, "hair pulling moments." So just finished a Fall towel topper and fall fridgie for a swap, just started on the Fall Amigurumi swap, and then it will be time to mail it off along with some wishes.

I changed my blogger background, found another blog that offers them, and I had a very hard time choosing one.....I wanted a fall one, but thought that might be jumping the gun just a bit. Who knows you might come back and I will have a Fall background. Hmmm....when does Fall officially start? Autumn begins the 22nd of September.

1st Day Jitters for Mommy!! Crochet update too

Well my little guy went to school yesterday, which was only his "practice" day! We had to walk since my van is still broke down, it took about 15 minutes to walk in the hot sun....so when we got to the school, it was as if someone turned on a water faucet above my head.....I was sweaty!!! Anyway we sat on the stairs waiting for his teacher to open the door, and once she did, Aiden took off like a bullet!!! Bummed me out.......anyway he gets in, hangs up his backpack, get a book, a name tag and sits down.......wasn't even going to hug me, just "leans" into me and I said no mommy needs a hug!! So I finally leave and cry all the way home! LOL My father picked him up with AJ and Aiden had a super fun time, he liked it, and his teacher said he did really well. I asked him if he had anything in his backpack, and he excitedly said yes mommy, a paper!!! It was a school calendar, but it was HIS first paper from school!! How cute! He starts his "official" first day Tuesday.

This was Mr Aiden pointing to his name when we went to conferences.

This is a tree limb that fell from our tree into our neighbors......you can't really tell in this picture, but it was one very huge limb that fell, luckily no one was out back, and only our fence took damage. Insurance adjuster is coming out Monday.

I have not been very good about posting my crochet work!! LOL....I was lucky enough to test these adorable Ice Scream cones for Halloween. ANGIE designed them, and you can click her name to be taken to her blog with her patterns.

Angie also sent me the above swap stuff.......i love it!!!

I made this bell doily which was pattern of the month in my group....I did it in silver metallic thread and sent it off in a Christmas swap box.

Lady bug I did for my mom, she loved it.

How cute is this?? Milk and toast amigurumi patterns........I loved how they came out.

I have not sent these off, but they are for an ornament swap, those mittens are tiny !!! about the size of my fingernail.

Be on the lookout for more patterns, I just designed three more that are being tested and have 4 patterns that need to be posted.

Crochet Therapy?

Crocheting under Pressure!!

Does your crochet help you feel better when you are upset about something..........are you able to think about things while you crochet?

For me when I am sad, depressed, or even angry picking up that hook and working on a project makes me feel better........sometimes just more calms me down, the "feelings" may still be there, but I am not as "hot under the collar" so to speak than I was before picking up my hook. If I am not having to count any stitches, I will definitely think about what is bothering me........

I have not particularly found a project that helps me wind down.........but on the other hand designing my squares is stressful!!! LOL Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it very much, and it is one of those things that I feel like I am denying myself if I don't work on my own designs.......I feel cheated!!! Of course getting involved in a designing process then makes me go mad.......do I just go with it and write it down later.......do I write as I do each row/round........do I draw it out first.........oh the many questions that rattle around up there....LOL. I know when I am working a pattern from a book or one I bought/found online and it has me stumped......I get stressed and can just frog it or throw it to the side somewhere and work on it later........and when I do pick it back up......and realize that it was my own mistake making the pattern go wrong........ohhhh the pressure!!! LOL.......the stress of realizing my temporary stupidity was what helped me out!!! I do feel vindicated though, if I find out the pattern has a mistake in it.....so I go all ninja on the pattern......then try to calm down and tell myself mistakes happen!!! Once you start designing your own stuff....you do realize that mistakes pop up a lot!!!! You can read over something time and time again, and never see that one typo....or that one miss placed word, or the row/round that just makes no sense at all. LOL It certainly gives you pause.

So even though Crocheting helps me to calm down, it can also stress me out......and then I have to think if it stupid on my part to let "crochet" do that to me.........to make me so upset over it........I mean it is just a material item....and aren't we suppose to NOT get upset over something so trivial? For me I agree and disagree..........I love making things for my family/friends........even strangers online.....ok most are not strangers......I may have not met them personally, but I have developed a friendship with so many that share my love of "hookin." My point I guess is that as trivial as some may think Crochet is............when you are working on something that you know your family/friends are going to love, you want it to be perfect, to be something you are proud of. Something that they are also going to be proud of, and want to show it off..........or at least display it somewhere in their house where ANYONE coming in will see it. LOL. So I guess it all comes down to that............proud of your work..........and if you love something, you are bound to be "stressed" out over it, even angry with it.......which if you think about it, you are angry with yourself......we all know that square or stuffed item is not in anyway out to get us!!! Is it??? Don't get paranoid now...........

So go with the pressure.......Crochet Therapy has advantages.....it will no doubt stress you out......but it will be there for you when you need to "de-stress"

Random Post

Here are my handsome boys getting ready to go bike riding, they rode their bikes with papa to the library to return books and check out some more. Which Aiden carries around most of the day. LOL

My little Aiden will be starting pre-kindergarten this month.....I am glad I called our local school. they told me he has to be pre-tested and pre-approved to attend...and it will be a school of the boards choice since a lot of schools fill up with pre-k fast........man I sure wish I would have known that earlier.....so I called the number, and got an appt the next morning.......took him in. They told me a letter would be mailed to me letting me know if he was approved and at what school. Anyway last week I get a call from an elementary school telling me he was approved and could I come that moment to sign some papers.........wow I never got a letter, but we got him signed up, and already have a full month of appts........they will come to our house tomorrow to officially welcome Aiden........then later this week, open house, parents conferences the next week, so he can see his classroom one on one with teacher.......then a "practice" day, and then he officially starts last week of this month, a week after AJ does. I took him to get his feet sized and bought him two pairs of shoes, you can see them barely in the picture above, He picked out the Star Wars, and I found the Toy Story ones. HE loves them, carried them all over.........I then took him to walmart and got him a few shirts, he has plenty of shorts and jeans still....but he found some dragon shirts, and buzz light year.....and promptly pointed out a thomas the tank shirt saying he doesn't play with Thomas trains anymore. LOL It was off to Dillions to mail some packages and get a few things on sale there......then home.

Today was another busy day......I had to take Aiden in for blood work, he has another echo-cardiogram Wednesday, then went to get some uniforms for AJ......lunch, then home.....it was just too hot today to do anymore. I hate this heat

I am slowing down with crochet..........didn't crochet the past 3 days, my right hand felt like something "snapped" in the top of it...and for a full day that just hurt really bad, not as bad now, but when I do some things it flares up.......but I did manage to work on some squares. I have another new flower one 6" it is being tested, then I will post it.