Ok I am going to try to do this weekly........every Wednesday. I thought of making a new blog for this. I am even part of another weight loss blog, (which I will go to after this post) but why make a new blog about my weight issues, why not just use this one, and update once a week. Hopefully this will help me out. IF my day changes, I will just edit this particular post. Quick rundown.........I was always a thin person.....(haven't ya heard/spoke those words before.) Anyway I was.......I was around 125 or so before getting pregnant with AJ. 6 months into my pregnancy I was still about 130 or so.......really sick the whole time, but luckily I was put on a very strong medicine that helped me to keep food down. In the hospital before he was born, 190!! yep big difference. but after he was born, 3 days later, I weighed in at the hospital and was 154.....another huge difference. 2 weeks later? I was in size 8......didn't weigh myself, but I think it had been about 140 or so...........anyway, shortly after that, about a month.......gained 60 pounds!!! I was not eating much, and was NOT sitting on my butt like the nurse told me to stop doing........it just kept gaining on me faster and faster. How embarrassing and sad is it when your friends look at you in horror, asking you what on earth happened!!! I found out it was the Depro-vera shot........after 3 of them I stopped, and that was years ago...my excuse now? I am not lazy........but I don't get much exercise.........I have a gym membership, but barely use it. My excuse is simple.......it is me!! Though sometimes, online fitness classes at accreditedonlineschools.org seem a better option than going to the gym.
My daily food intake today has made me want to cry.........870 calories in that meal......
Spicy chicken sandwhich
Medium Fries
NOT couting the drink since I have only taken a few drinks, threw the rest out. I always do this, eat something unhealthy THEN get upset about it and tell myself I can't do that again......or so often..........I can say that I am proud of myself for NOT snacking at night the past 4 days. Anyway I won't say what my weight is, not ready to go there........but when I see a full body picture of me, or my reflection in the mirror? I want to cry..........I want to hide..........but I can't hide, and crying only makes me feel worse!! I always say I will start Monday, to eat better and exercise........why always Monday in my mind? Monday comes and nothing changes, and then it's Monday again..........well NOT ANYMORE.......TODAY!! Nothing is different........I just don't want to feel this way.......and NO ONE can change that for me. ONLY ME! LOL
Ok off my fat pedestal for now until next Wednesday........I might have a Sunday Sins entry, to update any "miss steps"
*Edit* Made appointments with a trainer at the gym for both AJ and I. We go next week.
My daily food intake today has made me want to cry.........870 calories in that meal......
Spicy chicken sandwhich
Medium Fries
NOT couting the drink since I have only taken a few drinks, threw the rest out. I always do this, eat something unhealthy THEN get upset about it and tell myself I can't do that again......or so often..........I can say that I am proud of myself for NOT snacking at night the past 4 days. Anyway I won't say what my weight is, not ready to go there........but when I see a full body picture of me, or my reflection in the mirror? I want to cry..........I want to hide..........but I can't hide, and crying only makes me feel worse!! I always say I will start Monday, to eat better and exercise........why always Monday in my mind? Monday comes and nothing changes, and then it's Monday again..........well NOT ANYMORE.......TODAY!! Nothing is different........I just don't want to feel this way.......and NO ONE can change that for me. ONLY ME! LOL
Ok off my fat pedestal for now until next Wednesday........I might have a Sunday Sins entry, to update any "miss steps"
*Edit* Made appointments with a trainer at the gym for both AJ and I. We go next week.
1 comment:
Don't beat yourself up. I joined weight watchers and am trying to lose slowly. It's ok to have a mess up.. you're only human. I had fries tonight, as a matter of fact. Good luck!
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