Sad Day

I am just so depressed right now. I had a really nice car, that my ex fiancee bought for me, yes that is right he bought it for me as a gift because I had to sell my other car to pay him rent for my parents, because he gave me such a hard time about them being late.......anyway the title had to be in his name due to the loan being in his name, but the car was registered to me, anyway he paid off the loan we were already broke up by that time, but he said the car was a gift and he would keep it that way, but he never gave me the title, the loan office said he requested the title be sent to him! Not me, but him, I called him several times to ask for it, but he would ignore me. Well after Aiden was born, i could not drive my car, because it was a standard, which my dr told me not to drive, so i was trying to trade it off for a taurus, but without a title I could do nothing..................so to make a long story short, if i had had the title, i would have been able to trade it off for an automatic.....but this taurus was being loaned to someone else, and the transmission was acting funny. the guy kept saying he would look into it, well, he took the car back for awhile, my father totalled my car in an accident during an ice storm, which he had no control over, and so I was able to get the taurus back a month ago, and the guy said i need to decided on whether i am going to buy it, he wanted 1500 for it, but it has over 200,000.00 miles on it, the air does not work, the back door does not work and the electrical system was not working, this all not including what might be wrong with the transmission. so today I took it in, because it really started to act up, and i was scared to drive it, well this guy was very honest with me, all the motor mounts are gone!! you should have seen how that engine jumped when the car was in gear!!! The transmission fluid was burnt black............to rebuild the transmission is anywhere from 1000 to 1600 dollars, the motor mounts because of how you have to get to them and with labor is another anywhere from 600 to 800 dollars!! The guy said the smartest and safest thing I could do was give this car back immediately, it was a very unsafe, very very dangerous car to be driving! I was so upset, number one to even think of what might have happened with my boys in the car!! I am mad at myself, mad at...................just myself, I can't believe it, 34 years old and no car AGAIN! How stupid i feel right now, how depressed.................I know I am just feeling sorry for myself, but to know what could have happened while driving that and my boys being in the car......its just so scary, and I feel like its all my fault, I trusted people, but really i should only trust myself. I took all my stuff out of it and will give it back.