I hate bugs!! I don't have a problem killing them if i see them...........but i did find something out the other night, the bigger they are, the freaked out i get! We were outside and a locust got in the house and really scared Aiden, who could not move, so i am there doing my eeekkkky dance...............freaking out along with him, but trying really hard to be brave!!! This thing was huge, white and black, and just downright grosss!!!!!!!!!!!! i tried to step on it, but i got the eeeekkkkkyyyyyssss just thinking about it, i finally got my foot over it standing there looking really pathetic...............and what does my foot do????? It barely taps the stupid bug! my foot made contact with the huge nasty buzzing dumb bug, and my foot freaked and I swear if it had a mind of its own my foot would have turned itself around and hid behind my butt!!!!! I could not step on it because it was so big. Some brave mommy I turned out to be.
Then last night, a huge friggin spider made home in front of our back door out back.......if someone was not paying attention they would have walked right into this huge spider web...............this spider was ugly and big..........so brave me goes for the can of starch.........and I try starching the thing, the stupid thing starts webbing up farther, so i grab the mop that was out there drying, and destroy his web...........make him homeless!!!! then i go to hit the wire it was standing on............the chicken............running from me, i will stalk a spider until the thing is dead!!!! It falls on the what i think is the ground, but NOOOOOOO, it falls closer to me, so now its coming after me!!!!!...............ok fine, I have shoes on!!!! Its staring me down on the steps, i am shaking and screaming, but BAM!!!! I hit it with my very flimsy flip flop, do my little freaked out screaming dance of fits.......................and can't find it, look at the shoe, no guts on it, DAMN!!!! the stupid spider got away from me, no doubt stalking me behind some hooped up blade of grass, waiting to get me..................EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! Did i mention I am deathly afraid of these things???............i go running through the yard, again doing my little dance of fits.................arms flaring around...............feet jumping up and down, my whole entire body was shaking.............(please no, "oh is that what the earth was shaking for," comments) I swear I looked like a sick chicken running around with its head cut off..................I ran into the house and made my mom check me, full body search!!!!..............."CHECK ME CHECK ME" You know those spider can be very very sneaky!!!!! they will hunt you down........lay in wait for the perfect opportunity to pounce on ya and bring you down!!!
Just thought I would share with you my wonderful ability to look and act like a coward!!!! WooHooo huh?
1 comment:
What a funny post!
I like bugs about as much as you do and yes, my foot too has a mind of its own. I know what you mean about 'tapping' the bug. Thank goodnes my son is 16 now and I call him out to take care of the buggies for me....and he just shakes his head at me and says 'mom mom mom'.
LOL
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